Intelligent Investing #55 - Emotional Intelligence - 11.21.22 - Why understanding your Emotions is crucial to your success

In this episode Glenn Leest talks about the importance of emotional intelligence in the workplace. Enjoy!

Emotional Intelligence

                Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of those around you. The term was first coined in 1990 by researchers John Mayer and Peter Salovey, but was later popularized by psychologist Daniel Goleman

Emotional Intelligence in Leadership 

1.     Self-awareness
2.     Self-regulation
3.     Motivation
4.     Empathy
5.     Social Skills

https://www.mindtools.com/ax3ar6w/emotional-intelligence-in-leadership
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/emotional-intelligence-eq.htm
https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-2-0-Travis-Bradberry/dp/0974320625


-Glenn Leest

Senior Investment Adviser

928-225-2474 Office
INTELLIGENTINVESTING@WTWEALTHMANAGEMENT.COM

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Transcript

Welcome to Intelligent Investing with Glen Lease. In today's episode, we're going to be talking about emotional intelligence and why that is such a key piece for your financial and professional success. Stay tuned. It's going to be a great episode.

All right. It is Monday the 21st. I am in the studio. Recording back at it. I was out a couple weeks. Um, but I'm here and you have to, uh, forgive my voice a little bit. It is a little bit raspy. Um, I had a, uh, Some misuse of the last couple weeks and, uh, but I'm healthy and well. Now, um, today I want to talk about a, a topic called emotional intelligence.

And that may be something that we, we may have heard of in the past. You may have heard of. Um, the IQ, you know, intelligence quotient, um, which is, you know, your ability to recall facts and, and problem solve emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions as well as doing that with those around you.

And I feel like that is something that is so crucial for today, especially in the business realm, um, or even in your professional life, is being able to have a good emotional intelligence so that way we can be successful in our interpersonal relationships with our. Coworkers with our clients, with our bosses, with everyone on our team.

Um, because I think if we're all being, um, candid, we, we probably have had someone in the past, uh, in our crew or team or workplace that didn't work so well with others. And, and, and it was probably very challenging to work with that individual. Um, and, and maybe they did a great job, but they just weren't good at playing well with others.

And so, um, I think if you're going to be successful in professional realm, You want to make sure your emotional intelligence is also, uh, well developed. And so there's really five key components of emotional intelligence when we're looking at it. Uh, the first one is self-awareness. Second one is self regulation, third motivation, fourth empathy, and fifth social skills.

So, um, one of the things I had, one of my mentors tell me one time is that he, um, when he first got into the financial services business, he, um, took one of the aptitude tests and, um, his intelligence, quotient IQ or his aptitude was like middle of the range. You know, nothing too spectacular, nothing crazy amazing, but not awful.

He was just kind of middle of the pack, but then he took his emotional. Uh, quiz, which are available online, you can kind of score those. Um, he scored off the charts and so he said that that was probably one of the things that helped him be the most successful in the industry is because he could really relates to his clients, understand, uh, empathize what they're going through, and really.

Formulate a game plan to accomplish and solve the problems they're looking to solve. And so I just thought that was a really interesting thing. I never even, I don't think I've even heard of eq, um, until like maybe about five or six years ago. So, um, one of the things that is important about emotional intelligence is, um, it affects your performance.

Um, if you are not able to. Manage your emotions well and self-regulate it will impact your work or school. Um, that's just regardless. Um, you have a bad day and you let that, where you have some something that happens at the house or something in your personal life, and then you get to work and it just ruins your entire day because you're not able to self-regulate and to manage those emotions.

It, it has an impact. Uh, we've all probably had those individuals at work that had a a. Maybe a bad day and said or did, or sent an email or told a customer or something, uh, maybe in frustration and it caused a lot of issues. Um, and so being able to self, self-awareness is really the ability to recognize your own emotions of what you're feeling and why.

And then, you know, appreciate how they affect those around you. So, um, you know, one of the things that has been very challenging for me in all candidacy is in my line of work, you know, people come and go, um, you know, I do a great job and help people the best I can, but for whatever reason, sometimes people just, it doesn't click, you know, us working together and maybe they want to do some.

And different, or they want a different personality. And that's hard for me to, to work through because I, I am one of those personalities that wants to look at and say, what, did I do something wrong? Did I do something? Could I have done something better? And most of the time the answer is not really. I mean, I did everything I needed to do.

It just, I mean, when you have. You know, hundreds and hundreds of people you work with, you know it's going to be realistic that a couple percent per year, you know, for whatever reason may come or go. So that's something that I have to work on me with, that when someone does leave or change or move or whatever, Um, that it's, it's nothing personal.

Um, even though it sometimes feels very personal, um, because it's a very personal business that we do. Um, but it's just business. I mean, people, you know, stuff, stuff happens and it may be nothing about me, um, or the work or a performance. Maybe they just had a friend in the business or maybe they wanted to do a different style of investor.

Um, we're, we're pretty, um, hands on, you know, pretty aggressive, pretty forward thinking investors. Um, and that may not fit for everyone. So that's just something I have to be self aware of because, You know, when I have that happen, you know, where I get the email or the notification or something happens where the client is no longer working with us, it really bothers me.

You know, it really, it really challenges the rest of my day, and that's something that I've had to work through over the last decade of being in this industry because, you know, every single person I work with or have worked with, you know, um, To expect that I'm always going to work with those individuals.

You know, 100% of the time always is unrealistic. I mean, stuff happens, people move, change jobs, you know, whatever it may be. So I just have to be aware of that and, um, make sure it doesn't impact my performance because there's a lot of other great people, you know. What about the other 99 that do want to work with me and love the work that we do?

Um, you know, that's just something that I thought was important. So I'm going to take quick break, uh, come back and we're going to cover the next two segments. You are listening to Intelligent Investing with Glenn Leest. If you want to gimme a call, the number here is 9 2 8 2 2 5 2 4 7 4, or you can email me at Intelligent investing@wtwealthmanagement.com.

All right, and we're back. So, um, before we took the break, we were talking about the self-awareness portion of it, being able to be aware of your own emotions, sort through them. And the second part is the self-regulation is being able to regulate those emotions to say, Hey, those emotions, yes, I'm feeling them, but.

Are they truthful? Um, and so one of the things that we just talked about in the last, uh, you know, example was, you know, if a client decides to move on, you know, what is the truth of why they moved on? Was it because just life changed and they had a different person they want to work with or different, um, personality?

Or was it something Glen did wrong? Um, and, and I have to work through that and say, no, I did everything I needed to do. I reached out to the client, talked to them, built the relationship, and it's just a tough marketplace. It, it's just, you know, things happen. So I have to self-regulate that emotion to say, okay, even though I'm feeling frustrated, you know, with the way this person decided to, you know, conduct themselves, um, I have to regulate my own emotions to say, okay, um, the truth of the matter is we did everything we needed to do and we're always going to continue to do a great job.

And if there's ever. Anything ever we need to do differently, we will. Um, so that's the second component of self-regulation. Um, number three is motivation. So this is something. You know, I find what was kind of interesting growing up is that, uh, you know, when you first became noticeable, probably I think in probably junior high, high school, those that were motivated, self-motivated, and those that weren't.

Um, and, and, and it made a big difference too. Um, you know, those that were motivated were the ones, you know, going to school study. In doing what they need to do to get their tests, or they were excelling in sports or excelling in extracurriculars. They were self motivated. They had the internal motivation.

They know what they wanted to have and why, and that was their, their what helped drive them every single day. So when we talk about emotional intelligence, we have to recognize what is our motivation for what we do every single day. If all we're doing is just trying to survive each and every day, well that's not very motivating, right.

If we have a perspective to say, I want to thrive and do well and provide blessings for my family and be a blessing to my community, blessing to those who I work with and, you know, really take it from that perspective, well then, you know, that's a lot better motivation. Um, you know, for me, when I, when I look at the motivating factors, um, in my life, it's, it's.

Driven by those, those components, not necessarily, uh, fear failure or, um, you know, fear of not having enough or scarcity, mentalities. I just, I find that those types of motivations aren't very good long term. Um, if you really want to motivate a person or, you know, or motivate an employee, um, using fear, you know, or fear of, you know, them getting fired or fear of them, you know, getting written up is not a great long-term.

You really want to encourage them to say, Hey, we want you to excel in this position so that way you can excel in your own personal life and excel in your professional life. You know? So those are all components of motivation. I think those are really important. Um, number four, we talked about, um, in the beginning we just listed off with empathy.

So the ability to empathize with other people. So that is literally putting yourself in someone else's shoes. Um, understanding it, how it feels from their perspective, um, which is a challenging thing. Um, not all the time. We can empathize with every situation because maybe it's a situation that we haven't been through.

Um, and, and so that's something that, you know, in life that if it's not a situation I've personally walked through, you know, I, I will try to communicate to say, Hey, I'm trying to understand what it's like to be in that situation. But, you know, it's, I, I don't, I don't fully. Um, but I'm going to do the best I can to try to understand and try to empathize and try to hear what you're saying about the situation.

Um, so that way I can do, do better as far as our relationship goes. So, so empathy is a very challenging thing to do. It's, um, not always easy, especially if it's something that, like I said, it's just something you've never had to go through and you're trying to. Understand or, um, empathize what someone else is going through.

So, um, empathy is such an important thing nowadays. So, uh, last one we want to touch on is social skills. So, um, I feel like nowadays, uh, there's a lot of, uh, knowledge and information, which is great, but there's not a lot of being able to communicate that well, interpersonally. I mean, we. All these cell phones, all these gadgets, all these connectivity.

But yet we sometimes struggle to just connect with people one on one or connect to have social skills to work through, you know, a difficult situation or work through a challenging environment. So having good social skills, uh, to be able to work through things, um, and connect with people is going to be huge.

Um, Often heard those called soft skills. Um, so those are like your ability to talk with people, communicate, maybe talking on the phone or you know, when you're meeting someone in person, how to connect with them, relate to them, understand where they're coming from. Those are all important social skills.

Um, and, and I feel like there's been more and more. Uh, emphasis put on other areas and not as much on social skills. Um, recently. Um, I mean, sending someone a text message or, you know, posting on their Facebook is different than communicating with them in person. So, um, developing your social skills is going to be huge for your emotional intelligence.

So, um, lastly, what we'll cover is, Your emotional intelligence will really impact three core areas of your life and that are very important. The first one is if your emotional intelligence is not in a good spot or underdeveloped, it will impact your school or work performance. That's just. There's no way around it.

You have to develop your emotional intelligence and develop those skills. Otherwise, those areas of your life, your performance in work or school is going to suffer. Um, and if you really want to excel in your career or excel in school, you need to be able to learn how to lead, learn how to motivate, learn how to work together as a team.

Those are all important things. And so emotional intelligence really ties into that. The other one that's important is, uh, your physical health. If you. Very good at managing your emotions. Um, you know, it can lead to uncontrolled stress and uncontrolled stress, you know, causes all sorts of, uh, health issues, whether it be blood pressure or uh, sleeplessness, insomnia, immune system issues, you know, Faster aging.

I mean, you name it. I mean, extra stress, you know, is not a good thing. So being able to manage your stress level is huge. And that's something I've had to work on over the last year and a half, two years as my career has continued to grow and develop and I've been very blessed to continue to grow and develop it.

I have to take time away for me to, uh, de-stress, um, because, Each and every day. There's a lot that goes on in my work life and it can be very stressful at times. So I just need to learn how to manage those stress and what are things that are good for me that I like, that I enjoy, that help me manage my stress And one of them happens to be working out.

And so sometimes if it's, uh, at the end of the day and it's been a stressful day, going to the gym and, and getting the workout in and putting on the headphones and turning the phone on airplane modes that way I can't get any calls for an hour is huge. Um, and then I come back like just refreshed and feeling better.

And it's almost like all the, this. The stress has been, uh, sweated out of the body, literally. So, um, if you're not managing your emotions, um, it will affect your physical health, for sure. And the last one that's really important, um, is if you don't have good eq, is it's going to, it's going to take a toll on your mental health.

And so if you're not able to work through emotions, self-regulate, uh, have the proper motivation, have good social skills, you know, it can lead to things like anxiety and depression and, you know, uh, Dysfunctional relationships. So having good emotional intelligence will help your mental health. And I think that's something that, um, nowadays is getting more and more attention is just the focus on mental health.

Because there's been such a mental health crisis over the last two years since the pandemic. There's more tension on hey, You know, your, our mental health is really important. Um, a lot of people suffer from depression, anxiety, and, you know, all sorts of issues and, and they need to sort things out. It's, it's not, I don't know why there's a stigma, um, about mental health as, as like, something's wrong with you because you're, you know, dealing with something in your life.

No, that's, that's normal stuff happens. Uh, we need to address our mental health and make sure that we are in a good spot mentally, um, and, and, and taking care of ourselves. And so that could be any number of things. When you talk about your mental. Um, that could be, you know, you have a, a person you talk to every week that, you know, help walk you through those things like a counselor or a therapist.

Um, there's all sorts of tools online that you can find to help, you know, really control and manage your mental health. But if you're, if you don't manage your emotions, um, your mental health will 100% software and your relationships will, um, that's the last one I want to cover, is if you're not able to empathize, you're not able to communicate well.

If you're not, you. Able to effectively, uh, relate to people, it's going to impact your relationships, um, both at work, personal family, you name it. So emotional intelligence is huge. Um, really want to make sure you develop that. I've, uh, been trying to do more and more of it over the last two years is to develop my own emotional intelligence and grow those areas and just taking time for my.

My own personal sanity, um, taking time away, you know, de-stressing, managing my own emotions. Um, you know, being able to empathize with people better. Um, those are all things that I think are, are, are great. And if you're going to be a leader and you're going to continue to excel in your career, I think those are great things.

Um, I will plug one last thing. There is a book, um, that I like, um, that talks about, uh, emotional intelligence. It's called emotional. 2.0 and it's, um, by Gene Graves and Travis Bradbury. That's a, it's a great book you can find on Amazon talks all about the emotional intelligence and, uh, leadership, um, you know, and how that is tied into that and how you can manage those even better.

So, um, with that, I appreciate you guys joining me today. I hope you enjoy today's episode. Uh, make sure to follow, like, subscribe if you haven't already. We'll be back later this week with some more market updates and what's going on in the investment world today.

Hey, thanks for listening to Intelligent Investing with Glen Lease. You want to give me a call? My number here is 9 2 8 2 2 5 2 4 74, or you can email me at intelligent investing wt wealth management.com.

You are listening to Intelligent Investing with Lend Lease. If you want to gimme a call, the number here is. Wait, 2 2 5 2 4 7 4. Or you can email me at intelligent investing wt wealth management.com.